Women's Solidarity and Internalized Misogyny, What Black Women Already Know
Internalized Misogyny in Women That Receive Benefits from Patriarchy is the Block To A Much-Needed Solidarity Among Women
Ruth King, in her book Mindful of Race, says, “Racism is a heart disease and it’s curable!” This heart disease of racism causes great harm to black people and all BIPOC people. If you allow yourself to see it, your heart might break open. The resulting compassion might call you to action.
Researchers have documented the physical and mental health damage caused by the stress of living with racism as an identity-based trauma. Due to this stress, black people have higher rates of diabetes, obesity, asthma, lung disease, hypertension and, heart disease. Because of this stress-based disease, black people die earlier. Racism also kills more directly as a result of police violence and a higher level of maternal mortality.
Now, white women are hurting and many report feeling fear. We voted an alleged rapist as America’s president. He seems to think he is a king with full authoritarian rule. Roe v. Wade was overturned despite insistence by many Trump voters that it would never happen. Ridiculous laws limiting women’s reproductive freedoms are killing women in our country and these laws continue to put women’s lives at risk. To make matters more concerning for the informed and sane, some people don’t appear concerned. If you don’t think that women’s rights and women’s freedoms are being threatened then please private message me because I have some swampland for sale in Florida.
While some white women are new to the awareness of the oppression, and underlying unconscious bias, aimed at women, this is not new for black women. Black people have been hurting during the entire history of this country. It is too much to review so I will stick to recent events. Black women have experienced several recent events that contribute to their collective pain. The attack on DEI programs is just an overt expression of racism and ignorance on diversity issues. While the overt has been pushed underground, black women and BIPOC women already knew that racism was still an underlying factor in everyday life in racist America. On January 8, 2024, Dr. Antoinette Candia-Bailey, VP of Student Affairs at Lincoln University took her own life. You can read about the racism that led to the sad ending of her life in Essence. This comes on the heels of the resignation of Dr. Claudine Gay, Harvard’s first black woman president for reasons also tied to racism, weak claims of plagiarism, and an aftermath that includes threats to her life. The wife of white Bill Ackman who played a large role in discrediting her is now accused of plagiarism, highlighting how black women face unfair and greater scrutiny. Black women experience continuous microaggressions, less support, greater barriers, and less respect and acknowledgment of their accomplishments. The advocates for the Workplace Psychology Safety Act are educating people on how workplace bullying and mobbing are greater for people who have marginalized identities.
As black women have experienced continuous assaults of oppression, where have white women been? Yes, many white women have attempted to be allies and work for racial justice. Let’s be honest about this as it is mostly in efforts that keep themselves safe and protected. I am sure there have been white women who have lost privileges by standing up for black women. I would like to know these women. Unfortunately, those numbers have been too few. Why would black women want solidarity with women willing to sell them out? I am here to say, solidarity is not their job.
We don’t need to be overtly racist or wear a white pointy hat, to contribute to racial harm. Robin Diangelo, explains the existence of racism, often unconscious, within progressive communities in her book Nice Racism: How Progressive White People Perpetuate Racial Harm.
Research highlights that all it takes to lack inclusive love and compassion is “othering.” We are more likely to empathize with people we view as part of our in-group. We categorize people into groups of us versus them, then deliver more empathy toward people in groups with which we identify. Neuroscience researchers have even found a greater vicarious empathic responses for people of the same ethnicity.
For women who want to embody inclusive love and compassion, it is important to stop playing nice and start intentionally acting kind. And by kind, I mean standing up on behalf of BIPOC people, especially black women.
As Ruth King notes, “Silence is a way in which white privilege is exercised.”
To engage in the inner work of racism, it may take the psychological work of unpacking internalized misogyny and rethinking the prescribed norms of patriarchy. Patriarchy depends on women's silence and submission. Because of this, internalized misogyny is a barrier to inclusive love and compassion. Women who disagree with this statement may be the ones who need to hear it most, as research shows that women who perceive less sexism have more internalized misogyny. A lack of real kindness, in the form of relational aggression between women, is a symptom of internalized misogyny. In this way, internalized misogyny perpetuates the oppression of women. Sadly, more so for women who are not in our same racial group.
I share this as an invitation to love more fully and more completely. To realize that love is a verb. To realize compassion requires action. We can commit to not leaving anyone out of our circle of love and compassion. In recognizing our shared humanity, I invite women to do the inner psychological work required to embody inclusive love and compassion.